The road so far
by flutterby cupcake
Summary: A collection of drabbles focusing on those moments we haven't seen of Sam and Dean in the Impala, crossing the country. Any character may be included, but all take place in the car. Not necessarily in series order.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first attempt at any kind of drabble. I had the idea for this while procrastinating from my actual writing/finishing my other fanfictions. Will probably update this fairly regularly. I'm open to suggestions if people have a scene they'd like to see! All updates are written as dialogue only, as I've been toying with the idea of writing in dialogue form only to see if you could make a valid story with it. It actually hurts, not doing dialogue tags! Let me know how (un)successful that is!:**

* * *

'Can you turn it down?'

'What?'

'Can you turn it down?'

'WHAT?'

'CAN YOU TURN IT DOWN?!'

'I CAN'T HEAR YOU, JUST A SEC … what?'

'Never mind, you did it already. So, where are we heading?'

'I don't know, around. Any more clues in the journal?'

'You speak Dad code better than me. I can't understand half of this crap. Maybe I could drive and you-'

'Uh-uh, no way. I'm not falling for that crap. You'll stick on some douchebag boyband and infect my baby with that pathetic crap. Work it out, before we hit Mexico?'

'Like you wouldn't love to visit Mexico.'

'Dude, I have fake credit cards and FBI badges, you think I got a real passport?'

'Think it through, you could use the fed badge to get into Mexico.'

'Huh. You're right Figure it out before we get to the home of Taco Bell, okay?'

'Dean, Taco Bell is an American company …'

'SORRY? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE AWESOME TUNES I PUT BACK ON!'

'Why did I agree to this?'


	2. Chapter 2

**This one is in honour of my sister, who told me today her boyfriend hadn't seen School of Rock, so didn't understand when she sang 'and the legend of the rent was way past due!'. And yet, they're still together. That's love, man, that's love.**

* * *

'Did you ever see School of Rock?'

'No. But that sounds a lot better than any of the schools we ever went to.'

'I guess. It was a movie, this guy sneaks into this school pretending to be a teacher-'

'And then he ganked a shapeshifter?'

'What? No! You think they make movies about hunters?'

'They should, instead of these pansy ass horrors. I mean, ooh, her head turned around, scary shit! Or-or, she's gone psycho after they covered her in pig blood. Don't get me started on Damien, man. And gore, what is that? You want real gore, go to a freaking morgue!'

'There was a movie about hunters, sort of. A Most Dangerous Game. It's really old, this guy hunted other humans.'

'Humans are messed up, man.'

'Tell me about it. But we still try and save them.'

'Yeah, well, you know how it is, Sammy. You gotta look out for your own. If it's a choice between humans and demons, like hell I'm going to join with the Hell patrol.'

'Hell Patrol sounds like a decent horror.'

'Hell Patrol sounds like one of those poser emo loser bands.'

'Which reminds me, School of Rock.'

'I'd go to a school of rock.'

'The teacher gets all the kids to be his band. They're insane good. He plays a lot of the crap you do too.'

'Did you just call my kind of music insane good?'

'Crap, were we meant to turn right just there?'


	3. Chapter 3

'So I've been thinking,'

'College boy was thinking? That's news.'

'Funny. I was thinking-'

'Did it hurt?'

'Shut up. I was thinking-'

'Were you just thinking and decided to tell me of this amazing new discovery of yours to think, and then it turns out you had nothing past the revelation that you were thinking and now you're just going to keep telling me that you've been thinking and-'

'I could have had any brother in the world. Any. And yet I had to get you.'

'Was that what you were thinking?'

'You're an ass.'

'Was _that_ what you were thinking?'

'Right now, I'm thinking of the best way to kill you.'

'Huh, join the club. There's a line. Hope you're taking notes, because a lot of the contenders are failing. Bad.'

'Bad_ly_.'

'I'd rather pass life than pass grammar.'

'At least, I guess, you knew it was grammar.'

'Was that what you were thinking?'

'Shut up.'

'Sorry. What were you thinking?'

'I can't remember. Jerk.'

'Bitch.'

'Seriously, any brother. Why did it have to be you?'

'Because I'm an awesome brother.'


	4. Chapter 4

**Last one for now! My head is exploding with these right now. Let's see how long that lasts! Ha!**

* * *

'What's that smell?'

'What smell?'

'Dude, did you fart? Did you fart in my car?'

'Well, I had a burrito.'

'Uh-uh, no way, I'm not dealing with this crap. It's like, minus twenty outside and you're gonna make my baby smell so bad inside I have to crack a window?'

'Sorry man, I have issues.'

'Is this why you eat salad man? Because that ain't right.'

'I eat salad because when I'm an old man, I don't want to have a bad stomach.'

'Okay Sammy, lesson number one, we're hunters. We'll be lucky to call forty "old". Lesson number two, can you smell that? That's what your salad diet has caused. Tell me again about the old-man-but-really-forty-bad-stomach?'

'It's not like I can help it, Dean.'

'I should make you walk.'

'You're not going to make me walk while it's minus twenty out, Dean.'

'The hell I won't!'

'Look, pull up at the garage, just up there. I'll be two minutes, I'll get an air freshener.'

'I'll buy it, knowing you it'll be some girl smell with made up shit in it.'

'I keep telling you Dean, jojoba's a real thing.'

'Made. Up. Shit. It should smell like car oil, or leather. It should not smell of you menstruating.'

'Oh, haha, Sammy's a girl. Like you didn't do that one Christmas.'

'Sorry I stole from a little girl, not a little boy.'

'Well, I guess you did the best you could.'

'Uh-huh. Well, while you're planning who to send the travelling pants to, I'm gonna go buy something to make my Baby smell like my Baby again. And Sammy? Lay off the burritos.'


	5. Chapter 5

'Okay, let's play kiss, marry, kill.'

'Really? Road games?'

'You don't know how to play, do you?'

'Fine, I'll humour you. How do you play?'

'I say the names of like, three celebrities. You decide to kiss, marry, or kill. Like, if you said to me, uh, Beyoncé, Kesha and Miley Cyrus? I'd say kiss Kesha, marry Beyoncé, and kill Miley.'

'Oooh, fun game.'

'We'll do a hunters version. So … Michael, Lucifer, or Castiel?'

'Are you kidding me? That's sick.'

'Come on, you have to answer. Kiss, marry, kill.'

'Kill is easy, I'd take Lucifer out. But that doesn't mean I'd make out with Cas or Michael.'

'Well, if it helps, the only times we've seen Michael use a vessel, he used Dad in the past, and Adam. You couldn't marry him, because it would be incest, kinda.'

'Great, fine, kiss Michael, marry Cas. You jackass. Okay, my turn. Garth, Becki, or Chuck.'

'I already married Becki.'

'Huh. Interesting.'

'Kill Garth, I guess.'

'You'd kiss Chuck?'

'Wait, what? No! Stop laughing, asshole! Fine, Bobby, Crowley, or Dick Roman.'

'You're playing dirty now, Sammy.'

'Just answer the damn question!'


	6. Chapter 6

'Hey Cas, wanna play a road game? It helps pass the time when we're stuck in here for ten hours straight.'

'I don't think this is gonna work.'

'Shut up Dean. What do you think, Cas? Wanna play I spy?'

'Do we indulge in espionage?'

'What? No, you pick something, like, I don't know, that windmill over there. See it? But you don't tell anyone you picked it. Then you say "I spy with my liitle eye, something beginning with 'w' and we have to guess until we get to windmill. And whoever gets it right gets the next go. Simple, right?'

'I think I understand. May I go first?'

'Sure.'

'Okay. But first I have a question.'

'Go for it.'

'Why is it my little eye? Which eye is my little eye? Is it in comparison to the other eye, or to something else instead-'

'It's the rhyme you say to let people know it's your turn. Sam uses it as a delay tactic when he doesn't have a clue what to pick.'

'Ah. Okay. I spy with my little eye, something beginning with A.'

'So far, so good. Uhhm, apple?'

'Can you see a goddamn apple anywhere around here Sam?'

'No Sam, not an apple.'

'Angel.'

'Dean, I cannot see myself.'

'You could if you looked in the mirror, Cas.'

'Oh. That's a good point. But no, it's not my A.'

'What about angel's bitch?'

'What is an angel's bitch?'

'Well, Dean's your bitch.'

'And you're my bitch Sam, how'd you like that?'

'I still don't understand.'

'It means that Dean would do anything for you, Cas. Any time you ask.'

'That's nice. I like Dean being my bitch. But no, Dean is not my A. Although, my A is in Dean.'

'Is it ass?'

'No, my A is not in Dean's ass.'

'There's a first.'

'I will make you walk, Sam!'

'Look, Cas, we give up. What was your A?'

'I cannot tell you, you have to guess.'

'You can tell if we're giving up. Sam wants to give up, so do I. What was it?'

'Atom. A for atom.'

'New rule when we play I spy, Cas. Only pick objects that all species in the car can see and identify.'


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey, so I've had a cold recently, and it gave me laryngitis for a few days and I couldn't stare at the screen. But I'm all back and well now! And since inspiration comes from the weirdest places, a road trip with one of the guys being sick:**

* * *

'Stop that.'

'I'm not doing anything.'

'You are. Stop it.'

'What am I doing?'

'That thing, with your nose. Just blow it, wear a breathe right, take some meds, something. It's pissing me off.'

'I'm fine, I don't need meds.'

'You sound like you're hocking back a loogie every five seconds. You need meds.'

'It's just a cold, Sam. Stop being such a wimp.'

'Stop being a stubborn ass. I heard you last night, wheezing in bed, claiming you were dying.'

'That doesn't _sound_ like me.'

'Uh-huh. And I found you this morning watching Dr Sexy because?'

'Have you seen the nurses in that show?'

'Have you heard yourself? You sounded like "hab you seed de durses in that show?" please just take a tylenol. Something.'

'Screw you Sammy.'

'It's Sammy, not Sabby.'

'I hate you.'

'Can you even see right to drive? You sound like an adenoidal kid with an attitude problem. I bet you can barely see.'

'I'm fine, Sam. Two lane road, right?'

'Okay, that's it, pull over. I'm driving, you're blowing your damn nose and at least sleeping this shit off.'


	8. Chapter 8

'I like travelling with you Cas.'

'Thank you Dean, that's very nice of you to say.'

'Yeah. You don't smell bad, you always agree with me on which songs to play, you don't call me a jerk every five minutes. …'

'Is that the normal agenda for your passengers?'

'It is when Sam's in the car.'

'But you love him, very much.'

'Mmm. But if you repeat that, I will kill you.'

'Oh Dean, you're so funny.'

'Stop that. You sound like a flirty girl.'

'Is that better or worse than your complaints of Sam?'

'Better. But you don't get to repeat that either.'

'Riding beside you in your car comes with many rules.'

'That it does.'

'May we eat cheeseburgers in your car?'

'God Cas, why are you not in the car all the freaking time?'


	9. Chapter 9

**And being a little meta … for all you Destiel fans out there. It's a little tongue-in-cheek ;)**

* * *

'So, I've been reading these fan stories that people have written since reading Chuck's books-'

'Don't, just don't. I still have nightmares about that one by Becky where we were, you know,'

'Yeah, I tried to forget. Thanks Dean. Anyway, it turns out, since Cas got written into the books, they've decided you don't love me anymore.'

'And that makes you laugh, why?'

'Because now it's Dean-slash-Cas.'

'Gross! How does that even work?'

'I don't know, how did it even work with Anna?'

'Or with Ruby.'

'Okay, Dean? Demons used to be human, angels never were. So that doesn't even work as an argument. I guess it would be like any other g-'

'Don't you freaking dare! Cas? Really? Me and Cas?'

'What is that about you and I, Dean?'

'Oh for the love of … never mind Cas!'

'Oh. I thought you called for me.'

'He did, over and over, he screamed your name.'

'Shut UP Sam.'

'I don't understand, why is this amusing for Sam and upsetting for you?'

'Here, Cas, a little light reading for you.'

'Sam don't give him-'

'Ow, you jerk!-'

'Great, just great. You're going to pollute the mind of an angel with whatever freak shows are in that stack.'

'Suck it up Dean, everyone thinks it happens.'

'I don't understand, why do people believe I wish to fellate you, Dean?'

'Oh, God!'

'Thanks, Sammy, thanks a lot. Ignore it Cas, it's just Sam's stupid fantasies.'

'It seems rather graphic … the pizza man would be impressed by the depth of this depravity.'

'I'm sure he would.'

'You know Dean, there is some beautiful sentiment within these scriptures. And although our relationship isn't quite this physical, I do hope that these prophets at least understand the emotional connection that we have.'

'I really want to zap out now … don't zap me out, Cas!'

'Zap me out. And wipe the seats when you're done.'

'I don't understand your intent, Sam.'


	10. Chapter 10

'Ouch! What'd you punch me for?'

'Yellow car.'

'What?'

'Yeah, I get to throw a punch whenever I see a yellow car. Or a Bug. You like car games, Sammy. This a car game.'

'I don't think I like this game - ow!'

'It was a Bug.'

'So what happens if it's a yellow Bug?'

'I beat the crap out of you.'

'What if I saw it first?'

'Yeah, nice try.'

'Ouch! Okay, I was looking that time, there was no yellow car, no Bug. What gives?'

'I felt like it - ow, hey! Don't hit the driver when he's driving! That's a new car rule.'

'You wanted to play Yellow Car.'

'Oh, I am so leaving a present in your motel bed tonight. Sleep with one eye open, Sammy.'

'You're such a sore loser Dean.'

'I'm the only one who's spotted a yellow car so far, I think I'm winning.'

'You always think you're winning.'

'You know what they say, Sammy, house always wins. I'm freaking House.'


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey, so, it's my birthday today (8th anniversary of my 21st! Woop!) and I noticed that all the posts I've done so far are a little snarky, so this one's for me. And for my fellow Aquarius and dream husband, Dean ;) hope you guys enjoy it too!**

* * *

'Vegas week! Vegas week! Vegas week!'

'Man, I'm so excited. I love Vegas week. How about you Kev? We got you a fake ID, you can come drink with us, have a little gamble, have a good time.'

'Thanks. Yeah, I'm excited. Why's Dean so happy?'

'Because it's Vegas week!'

'We started doing it for his birthday. It started with a couple days of gambling and one or two strippers for him, and it's kinda grown into a week.'

'Oh, that's cool. happy birthday, Dean.'

'Uh-huh, buy me a drink or get me a stripper. That's all I want. Oh, and to not get a call from Sam again to go to his wedding.'

'I'm sorry I got drugged, I guess. Witches spell, Kev.'

'You two have the weirdest stories.'

'You know it! Oh, like one time, like the third year we did it-'

'Do we have to tell this story?'

'Do you not like being the drunk guy dancing in the Bellagio fountains in your tidy whities? You loved it at the time.'

'I heard about that. That was _Sam_?'

'Thanks, Dean.'

'Did you say someone else was coming?'

'Charlie. You'll like her, she's a nerd too.'

'You got Charlie to come? Didn't she have some-'

'Like, Comicon? Nope, I told her we were coming Vegas, she wanted to come too. She's going to be my wing-girl in the strip clubs.'

'I'm so not surprised.'

'So, Charlie is a nerd, but she gets on better with Dean?'

'Kev, I am so glad you're here.'

'Don't get any ideas though, Charlie's less woman than Sammy is.'

'Dean-'

'Not on Vegas week. Come on, Vegas! Vegas! Vegas!'


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry I haven't updated lately, I've had a busy few days followed by some depressing days. My sister and I both had our birthdays, my parents celebrated their wedding anniversary, and my Grandmother passed away. I've been in a funny mood since that happened, and not really felt up to writing (for example, I'm meant to be writing 100k in100 days. I hit 93,000 before this week, and I'm still at 93,000. I normally do between 5,000 and 20,000 words a week. Not even managed 500 the past few days) but I don't want these stories to leave my head, so I'm trying to write this drabble to keep it going. Also, I'm trying to think of situations where other characters are in the car with either of the boys, so if you have any suggestions, I'd really appreciate them.**

* * *

'One.'

'Two.'

'Three.'

'Dude, what are you counting? Or is it really taking you a half hour to count to three?'

'I'm counting other cars. There's no one on this highway.'

'Good, we're fugitives, the fewer people we pass, the smaller the chance we're spotted and reported.'

'I guess. It's just strange, that it's so quiet.'

'So you have to count out loud?'

'I could sing along to the radio, if you want?'

'You say radio, but you mean one of Dad's cassette tapes, right?'

'It's like you're my brother or something, how well you know me!'

'You're not funny, Dean.'


	13. Chapter 13

**Writing this completely on the fly! Been so focused on my other stories that I've not touched this for a while. Hope it's good!**

* * *

'What are you doing?'

'Reading. Research. Preparing myself mentally for any upcoming challenges.'

'Huh. Maybe you should drive. I can think of better things to do when riding shotgun.'

'Not when I'm in the car, okay? I know you picked up a new Busty Asian Beauties … what was that?'

'What was what?'

'That banging?'

'It's the car, Sam. It's old.'

'Is that in the trunk?'

'Fine, okay, yes, it's Crowley. He's the junk in my trunk.'

'That joke is just never going to get old, is it? I know he's in there, I didn't realise he could be so loud. What do you think he's trying to say?'

'I think he's asking to have my skin mag when I'm done with it.'

'I think he's asking to go pray for redemption.'

'I think he wants a piece of Castiel.'

'When you're done with him?'

'When are you going to get off that one?'

'You love him. Admit it.'

'No. And I don't know why you brought him up.'

'Dean, you brought him up.'

'That's what she said.'

'Oh, Dean, eww!'


	14. Chapter 14

**Spoiler alert: I am so super pissed off with Sam in the recent series. Like, more than my usual 'Sam, you're such a dick' moments. So if you've not seen season nine for any reason, please don't read this particular drabble, because this is the sort of stuff I'd like to bitchslap Sam with. Ungrateful bitch.**

* * *

'Dean?'

'What?'

'We still have to talk about the case.'

'I don't know Sammy, do you trust me to talk about the case?'

'That's out of line, Dean.'

'You wanna talk out of line? You wanna talk about how I have bent over backwards, time and again, since I was four-years-old, just to protect you, and keep you safe? You wanna talk about how I did everything I could, _everything_, for you? I gave up my childhood, for you!'

'I never asked you to, Dean. I never asked for anything-'

'Because you never had to. Because it was always there. And you could never see two feet in front of your face to know what people gave for you. Sam, I sold my soul for you.'

'I never asked for that either. And I was-'

'Don't you dare, don't you dare say you were ready to die. You're being so freaking selfish right now, Sammy.'

'I'm being selfish? I'm not the one keeping other people alive because I'm scared to be alone.'

'You don't watch your kids die, Sammy. That's not natural.'

'That doesn't even make any sense! I'm not your son, Dean!'

'So, tell me about the case.'


	15. Chapter 15

**A few weeks ago, I was trying to think up some new story lines for this, and GrammarDemon mentioned something like this, so … enjoy. And I'm being a dork and dedicating it to GrammarDemon!**

* * *

'Sammy, are you done yet?'

'Almost.'

'You said that ten minutes ago. You were the one saying you could fix it, you could fix it. We'd be on the road by now if you just listened to me-'

'And you won't shut up, and it ruins my concentration, and then I can't work the jack.'

'I'm not letting you even change the oil from now on-HEY! Careful! Baby needs a tender touch.'

'Dean, if you gave any woman the attention that you give this car, you'd be married by now.'

'Married? I'd rather blow my brains out. I'm happy just breezing through town, leaving a trail of broken hearts.'

'You're such a girl.'

'Are you fixing it or what?'

'Look, I changed the tyre already, I just can't get the bolts back on when I have to look at you and talk to you because you're too scared to be in your head for five seconds at a time.'

'I can be on my own.'

'Sure, Dean.'

'Oh, I can. It's you I worry about. I mean, without me you drink demon blood, you hang out with demons, you collect dogs-'

'I get it, I get it. It's … just … about … done!'

'Well, happy birthday, Francis! Can you lower the jack now?


	16. Chapter 16

**And in honour of tonight's episode (though I won't see it until the morning, because as much as I love the boys, I can't stay up until 2am once a week) … I actually really like these guys, not because the characters are likeable, but for the comedy gold of Sam and Dean trying to cope with them. I actually think Sam and Dean look at them the way Death described Dean at that pizzeria in Chicago. Paramecium with attitude.**

* * *

'Of all the people you could decide to pick up on a hitch-hike, Sammy.'

'We're not exactly happy that it had to be you two, out of everyone who could pick us up. Three-hundred and sixty million Americans, and we get you. And you.'

'So, how's the um, the ghost hunting going?'

'Oh, it's going. We're this close to getting sponsors for Ghostfacers.'

'We're in talks for Network.'

'Network. Huh. So you'll be like the Jackass of the ghost-hunting world?'

'We're so much better than that, Dean. We could go global! The world needs a show about two guys who go out and destroy ghosts. And we are those guys.'

'Ed, Harry, don't ever change.'

'You're just jealous, we'll get Network, and you'll never be on our guest lists at parties.'

'You'll talk to your kids about us "Sammy junior, Deany junior, Daddy knew the ghost-facers one time" and we'll be like, oh, Sam and Dean who?'

'Is there an interstate we can throw these two out on?'

'I don't know Dean, if we do that, how would we ever get on the guest lists? We're in the presence of greatness.'

'I know you're mocking us, Sam. Just you wait.'


	17. Chapter 17

**Oh, document manager's playing up again! Spur-of-the-moment time again!**

'Sam.'

'Sam.'

'Sammy.'

'SAMMY!'

'You are so faking being asleep right now.'

'Sam wears women's clothes.'

'Sam loves Catsuit Tuesdays.'

'Sam loves salad so much, he'd wash in spinach.'

'Sam smells.'

'Sam has repressed feelings for Castiel and he projects onto Dean all the time because he's jealous of their "special bond".'

'Sam needs a haircut.'

'Crowley's right, Sam's a moose. Moose Boy. Moose Man. Moosey-moosey-moosey.'

'Sam's a girl.'

'Sam's not as smart as he thinks he is.'

'Sam needs Dean soooooo much.'

'Sam-'

'Mmmm? Did you say something Dean?'

'Nah man, you're good, go back to sleep.'


	18. Chapter 18

**Why not do a weechester one? Please r&r, because I think I'm funny, but I could be wrong. Oh so wrong ...**

* * *

'Come on Dean, how many times do you have to learn it?'

'I've learned it already.'

'Shut up Sam.'

'Yeah, Sam, stop brown-nosing Dad. Okay, hello, I'm Dean, I'm agent Neo's apprentice.'

'Dammit Dean! If you can't take this seriously-'

'I'm trying Dad, okay?'

'"Hello, I'm Dean. I've been asked to accompany the officer on his investigation as per my training for the FBI. I have the authority to be here." Come on Dean, how hard is it?'

'Sammy, butt out, this is hard enough for Dean as it is. It's not like you can come, your voice hasn't even broken yet.'

'It has!'

'You're still a shrimp.'

'Dean, you're not helping either. Look, when we get to town, we are going to need to look professional. Sam, you're to stay in the motel room, lay salt, and keep your gun on you. Only open the door when you hear the knock. Understood?'

'Yes Dad.'

'Don't pout like that.'

'I'm not. I mean, I like that I get the chance to study in peace, but you're always leaving me out.'

'Sam, I am not about to try and con the police into thinking I have a fourteen-year-old apprentice. No one would buy that you got work experience with the FBI. But Dean's a man now, he's fully capable. And you _will_ learn your lines, boy.'

'Yes, sir.'

'Good, let me hear you now. And not a peep out of you Sammy-I saw that!'

'Hello, I'm Dean, I've been asked to accompany the officer on his investigation ...'


	19. Chapter 19

**Today has been beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous. It felt like I was in Florida, not fifteen miles out of London. Anywho, I scribbled something down in my lunch hour in the sunshine, and I guess I'm easily influenced?**

* * *

'Man, I love this.'

'What?'

'The open road, cloudless sky, sunny day. Don't you feel good?'

'I guess.'

'It's one of those days where you struggle to believe that bad things can exist, you know?'

'I guess.'

'Come on, Dean, you must be the only person on the planet to have reverse SAD.'

'It's not that, it's just … we're back in California. Of course it's sunny.'

'And it doesn't make you feel good? Almost invincible?'

'Clawing my way out of hell and purgatory, that makes me feel invincible.'

'_Dean._'

'Fine, Sammy, yes. I feel good. This feels like anti-evil-crap weather. Happy?'

'Ecstatic.'


	20. Chapter 20

**Today's drabble is in honour of my old job. I used to be a McManager. Don't hold that against me, like I have a feeling Sam and Dean are about to! Big thank you to GrammarDemon, who helped me work out the price of everything, since you know, it's different in England (and I got used to discounts too).**

* * *

'You feeling hungry?'

'Sure.'

'Want to hit up that McDonald's.'

'Sure.'

'Come on Sammy, they do salads, you should be psyched.'

'It's been a while since I enjoyed a Big Mac, I guess.'

'Great. We'll go through the Drive Thru.'

'Hey, welcome to McDonald's, can I take your order?'

'You can.'

'Dean, don't be a dick.'

'Um, sure, a number one and two number threes. One with a water, the others with root beer. Can you throw in a double cheese and a mcflurry? Oh, and get me some pie. I need me some pie.'

'Sure, drive round.'

'Dean, you can't seriously want to eat all that.'

'I seriously can.'

'Fine.'

'I can't believe you used to ride my ass bribing people fifty bucks at a time when you're spending like, twenty-seven dollars on one meal.'

'Sam, you whine like a mom.'

'How would you know?'

'How would you?'

'Just pay the guy.'

'Here's your order.'

'Great, thanks. Eat on the road, Sammy?'

'If you think you can eat a quarter pounder and drive at the same time, go ahead. But if you kill me, I will haunt you. I'll be attached to your bad mood, so you can never get rid of me.'

'You make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside Sam. Open a burger for me.'

'Mmmmm, imsshed dsssh.'

'Shoors cwd?'

'What?'

'I said, is yours cold?'

'A little.'

'The pie better make up for this suck-ass burger.'

'Uh, Dean? They forgot the pie.'


	21. Chapter 21

'Man, I hate this car.'

'I know buddy. We gotta suck it up.'

'It can barely cope with fifty.'

'I know, I get it.'

'I feel like you're the one driving here.'

'_Dean._'

'Oh, come on Sam, you wouldn't go close to fifty on a sixty road. I miss the Impala.'

'Well, once we've dicked over Dick, we can have your Baby back.'

'I know, but it's taking so freaking long!'

'It's not my fault.'

'I know, i just … she doesn't even smell right, you know? She smells like poor manufacturing and no power steering.'

'She smells fine. It's a car.'

'Says the guy who got excited to get an external hard drive on his laptop so he could play more World of Warcraft inbetween cases. You think I was following all the giga-shit talk?'

'I know what you're trying to say Dean, I was … never mind. You don't have to insult me. But for the record? I never said it was Baby who was just a car. I meant this one.'

'Good.'

'Or, you know, sorry Sam.'

'Don't push your luck, Sammy.'

* * *

**Hey, so, at the moment, I've only got a couple more ideas for this. I don't know if I'll take a break or what. I think I have a vague idea for a Charlie one, and a couple of them as kids. If there's something you'd like to see me try, don't hesitate to comment, and I'll work on the idea :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**OMFG! I know a lot of people are enjoying Vegas Con and I'm pleased for you, and jealous I can't be there, but not as jealous as I could be, because Jared just got announced for the UK con! Wish it could be Jensen too, but hey, never thought I'd meet Jared!**

**Barely been able to write tonight from the excitement, but I thought I'd throw this one out there, since I'm in such a good mood!**

* * *

'Marco.'

'Polo.'

'Marco.'

'Polo.

'Marco.'

'How in the hell are you boys playing that game when you're in the same damn car?'

'Come on, Dad, we've been in the car for hours!'

'I gotta pee.'

'And Sam's gotta pee.'

'We'll pull over.'

'I'm not peeing outside!'

'Can you hold it?'

'No.'

'Outside.'

'Hey, HEY SAM!'

'WHAT?'

'I CAN SEE YOUR THING!'

'DEAN!'

'IT'S TINY SAM!'

'DEAN, SO HELP ME GOD, GET BACK IN THE DAMN CAR AND LOOK ANYWHERE BUT YOUR BROTHER!'

'How long until we get to Bobby's?'

'A few more hours.'

'I'm bored.'

'I get that, but America's a big place, it takes time to drive across it.'

'We could fly, one day?'

'Sammy, it's too expensive, and planes crash.'

'Can you not just entertain yourselves?'

'Fine. Wanna play a car game, Sammy?'

'Sure.'

'Marco.'

'Polo.'

'We cannot get to Bobby's fast enough.'


	23. Chapter 23

**I had a couple more ideas for this! I'm stalling for a moment on Those Nephilim Days, because one scene isn't sitting right at the moment. But I have a cunning plan, and a very awesome partner-in-crime for it. Well, I have one of those things.**

* * *

'Shut up, Sammy.'

'I didn't say anything.'

'No, but you did that thing.'

'What thing?'

'The thing where you take a deep breath in and moved your feet like you could hit the brakes. Everyone knows the speed limit is just a suggestion. You don't need to be a backseat driver.'

'I wasn't aware I was doing it.'

'You're doing it again!'

'Well, sorry Dean, but maybe if you drove like a regular person it wouldn't be a problem.'

'Screw you, Sam.'

'And I keep my mouth shut so much about your driving. Like, I would never make the tires squeal, I wouldn't risk overheating the engine, I wouldn't let it smell of fried food-'

'Are you seriously going there right now? I don't crawl along, hoping the way the damn earth turns would be enough to get me from A to B, I don't criticise every time you oversteer, which you totally do. End of the story Sam? It's my damn car, they're my damn rules. Shut your cake hole.'

'I wasn't trying-'

'Cake hole closed. Now.'


	24. Chapter 24

'You have such a sweet ride.'

'Thanks. This can't be the first time you've ever been in my car.'

'No, but you know, props where they're due, Dean.'

'Sure. So, we're really going shopping?'

'Yeah, it'll be fun! We'll make a day of it. We can do a montage!'

'A montage?'

'You know, trying on loads of clothes, funky theme tune, stupid poses, it'll be fun!'

'It won't be fun, it's shopping.'

'Can we go to the comic book store too? Oh, and I heard they have a bakery that's to _die_ for.'

'Remember this is for a case? People are dying, trying to save lives?'

'Oh, yeah, of course, but we've got time.'

'I guess I could make your passes while you're being a total girl.'

'Hmmm, but you know, that would be more insulting if you were saying it to Sam. And if I wasn't an actual girl.'

'I'm still wondering how I got roped into this?'

'It's because we shared a moment, when we were flirting with that security guard.'

'I don't like the use of that "we" in there.'

'Say what you want, Dean, you're the one who knew just what to say.'

'You're the one who pretends she's in some mythical game, and yet you're dragging me shopping. I think you're lying.'

'Are you trying to flirt with me, Dean? That's cute.'

'Whatever, Charlie.'

'Oh, keep it up. I might even flash you my tattoo between outfits.'

'Well, I wouldn't say no.'

'Pervert.'

'You love it.'

'That's why you're my friend!'


	25. Chapter 25

**So, I haven't updated this in a while! Sorry, I got stuck on Those Nephilim Days, but now that's over I can do some on here before going on with the next sequel in that series.**

**I am buzzing today. I've been doing herbalife for a month and with this month's update, I've gotten some thermo pills. I took one, did my 20 minute bike ride, did some planking (my wellness coach gave us an April challenge yesterday. Not an April fools. I told her I ate an entire pizza after work and gained 5 pounds, which was one! Took her ages to get the joke, lol) and now I'm on overdrive and my sister's stolen the shower. So here I am. I should get on with it, because this is probably now longer than the drabble!**

* * *

'Do you ever wish we had different transportation?'

'Are you saying you don't love Baby?'

'No, just, don't you feel flabby sometimes? Don't you want to, I don't know, rollerblade or something once in a while?'

'What are you, Forrest Gump? How about you rollerblade from California to Idaho and I'll work on about fifty cases in between.'

'It wouldn't hurt us to be healthy, Dean.'

'It wouldn't hurt you, I think it would kill me.'

'You could come with me when I go jogging sometime?'

'Ew, why? Anyway, they say sex is a good exercise. I think I'll stick to my current routine.'

'I don't want to think about you having sex. Ever.'

'You might pick up some good tips, Sammy.'

'Can we drop this topic now?'

'Don't be such a prude.'

'I'm not a prude, I just think that there are some things we shouldn't over share.'

'Do you remember when you were telling me about you and Ruby and all you did was over share? I got images that I never want to revisit.'

'So this is what, revenge?'

'Dude, you got graphic. All I said was that it was a good work out. But really, I'm not going to share my moves with you.'

'Can we talk about maybe anything else?'

'Like what?'

'I don't know, just anything else!'

'Like Pie?'

'Dean, I'm pretty sure you make sex noises when you eat pie.'

'Is that why you leave the room when I eat it?'

'Pretty much.'

'Great. Every time you annoy me, I'm gonna eat me some pie.'


	26. Chapter 26

**I'm on a writing mission this morning! Had a vague idea for this one floating around the past few days. From the earliest days in the Impala!**

* * *

'Daddy? Can we play some different music? This stuff's too loud. It hurteds my ears.'

'Sorry, Deano. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.'

'You put cake in guns?'

'Can it, Deano.'

'Can what?'

'Shut your mouth.'

'Why?'

'Because I'm trying to concentrate.'

'Why?'

'Because I'm trying to work.'

'Why?'

'Because it's important.'

'Why?'

'Because it's about avenging your mother.'

'Why?'

'Because something bad made her hurt.'

'Why?'

'I'm trying to figure that out.'

'Why?'

'Deano, buddy, you want to make Daddy happy? Stop asking why. Just accept the things I'm telling you.'

'Why?'

'Ghosts eat little boys who ask why … come on now, Deano, stop crying. Shhhh, baby Sammy's still asleep, okay buddy? I'm sorry, that was mean of me to say that. Come on, slugger, keep quiet for your brother.'

'Da-a-a-a-dee? Can oo play hey dude like Mommy oostoo sing?'

'Sure, buddy. We'll play "Hey Jude." you wanna sing along?'

'No.'

'Okay. Enjoy the song.'

'Daddy? Sammy's crying.'

'Yeah, I hear him buddy. Guess he woke up after all.'

'His diaper's stinky. Stinky Sammy.'

'Okay buddy, we'll pull over, change his diaper, get him some milk. Can you be my big boy and make his formula while I do the stinky diaper?'

'Yes, Daddy.'


	27. Chapter 27

**So I'm writing the sixth chapter of Faith atm and trying to decide what chapter 2 of 50 First dates will include, and I wrote a short list last night of possible ideas for this, so while my attention span sucks … enjoy.**

**I confess, this one is based on a few fanfics on here that I've never completely understood. Can someone please explain ****where the Sabriel ship originated from? Really intrigued by that one!**

* * *

'Hey, so Sammy? You know how you've become like, Becky-level obsessed with the slash fiction people write about me?'

'I wouldn't call it obsessed.'

'Dude, the last time you left your laptop open while you went for a piss, I saw the stories page and how many you had "favourited" because they contained Cas-and-me sex.'

'And how many times do I have to tell you to leave my laptop alone?'

'I know why now, you get off on me and Cas. Which is weird and gross and something I would really love to block about now. Anyway, so I went looking through some sites myself, and I've found a few stories I really love. Want to hear them?'

'I'm not sure I do.'

'It'll be fun. Listen to this: "Sam's heart was pounding, and he pushed his long, thick, mahogany brown hair out of his hazel orbs-"'

'My what?'

'I think they're saying your hair's in your eyes, get a haircut. Anyway, "and he stared at the golden-haired man in front of him. Had he heard right? His heat" - I think they meant heart, anyway - "his heat was threatening to jump out of his chest. Could he have said it? Could it be true? Could Sam's happiness lay in the shorter, older man?" Dude, they still think you're gay.'

'I don't want to hear anymore.'

'The good part's just coming up, Sam! Who do you think they mean?'

'Shorter and older than me, Dean? It could be anyone. It could still be you.'

'No, I think in this one I decided last chapter to fuck Cas. Apparently I do that a lot.'

'Apparently?'

'Shut up. "The angel removed the sucker from his mouth-"'

'Oh, Dean, _no_.'

'Yeah. I guess people thought when you wanted to talk to monsters, they assumed it was pillow talk? Which is so you Sammy. Or maybe you're jealous I get my own angel.'

'Okay, we're parking up, and I'm reading this shit.'

'Nope, keep driving. Do you want me to do voices? I could lisp the way Gabriel does?'

'Shut up, Dean.'

'I wanna know if they think you're a giver or a taker.'

'That's disgusting, Dean.'

'He likes suckers-'

'_Dean_. I think I'm going to be sick.'

'Well, Sammy, I don't think you're going to be the one finding out what kind of gag reflex you got. Makes sense, really, he's so much shorter than you, it's probably eye level.'

'You've thought about this way too much.'

'Nope, just been exposed to way many of your favourite Dean-is-porking-Cas stories.'

'Stories?'

'Shut up, bitch.'


End file.
